Thus are World Wars Started — 2

The scene of the shooting

Mario was a Querdenker*, a plonker

An anti-vaxxer, a climate denier

A far-right fanatic and activist

A rabid racist white supremacist

He was also a budding alcoholic

Who led a life chaotic and shambolic.

As he drove past the signpost Idar-Oberstein

He remembered he needed beer and wine

For Saturday night, so he thought he ‘d stop

At a petrol station with an Aral shop

To replenish his dwindling stock of booze

If truth be told he was already quite woozy.

He tottered inside and placed his order

Six bottles of Riocha and twelve cans of lager.

The cashier said, sorry, can I politely ask

That you remember the rule of wearing a mask

Otherwise I can’t serve you, says the law

You must be joking, let me laugh, haw haw haw!

How dare you get on your high horse you little shite

You so-called student, do-nothing parasite

You fucking serve me man, or just you wait

The student server went, you heard what I said.

Mario suddenly turned back slamming the door

You’ll be sorry, just you wait, he said once more.

Half an hour later Mario reappeared

As the philosophy student had half feared

And he emptied the contents of his Glock

Into the nineteen year old’s stomach

*Querdenker is the German word for lateral thinker, which conspiracy theorists, anti-vaxxers, far-right racists etc… use to describe themselves




Prizewinning playwright. Mathematician. Teacher. Professional Siesta addict.

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San Cassimally

San Cassimally

Prizewinning playwright. Mathematician. Teacher. Professional Siesta addict.

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