The True(r) Story of Romeo & Juliet
In Shakespeare’s times, tragedies were much valued, which prompted the Bard to weave in a sad ending to his tale. As his birthday is being celebrated this week, I am re-publishing the true version.
Director’s Cut
(An Alternative Ending to Romeo and Juliet)
Dramatis Personae
Chorus
Juliet Montagu
Chorus: Over the years the tale of the star-cross’d lovers
Hath known much corruption and many changes
But tonight whate’er has been told amiss
We shall with your permit strive to amend;
Know ye that Friar John was not delay’d
And timely deliver’d Lawrence’s message-
Romeo slew not good County Paris
But as plann’d took his bride to fair Mantua
Where they did live for four score moons and ten.
How bless’d the day their several fathers
Swallow’d their life long feud and enemity
Like ancient wisdom claim on eclipse night
The moon the majestic sun doth engulf
And the prince Romeo’s banishment repeal’d.
Bless’d was the day hatred morph’d into amity
And Capulet and Montague ’came one;
There was dancing on the streets of Verona
And the stars did wink all night in the skies.
For fair Juliet’s happy resurrection.
The deceitful lovers from Mantua hied
And fill’d our fair city with joy and pride.
Enter Juliet Montagu
Juliet: Oh Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo
Was ever a true wife so wretched?
For full five years wert thou faithful husband
And didst love me as truly as I loved thee
But as water and air make iron to rust
Thus did my constant sighs erode thy love
Didst think me fond to want thee so much still
Namo didst daily swear eternal love to me
But even as didst nightly go carousing
Gaming and wenching with friends and kinsmen
Thine true wife said not one cross word to thee.
But thine hot love for me Romeo hath cool’d.
If I sighed at the nightingale singing
On yon pomegranate tree my lord would frown
And chide me for not knowing ’twere a lark
That pierc’d the fearful hollow of mine ear.
Still Juliet was true like the northern star.
But the most unkindest cut of all was
My lord’s rekindl’d love for Rosaline
Thine sometime sweetheart before we two were wed.
I love Rosaline more than life itself
But doubt not I love thee more better still
Didst thou protest when I beg thee to stay at home
I do protest I never injured thee
But love thee better than thou canst devise.
And but I believe that mine happiness
Would not be mewed up to my heaviness.
Each day thou becomest more unkinder
And three days and three nights Romeo hath gone
Deserting our once hell-hot marital bed
He loves me not no more as once he did.
My sometime intended good Count Paris
Has dar’d to send passionate words to me
There is no man I had as lief had wed
Had there been no Romeo to steal my heart
And now Romeo’s driving me unto his bed.
But soft, violent delights have violent ends
My steps must borrow care’s sister Prudence.
(Laughs)
But steep’d in duplicitous commerce
Did I not make mine sire think Tybalt
Was the object of my untarried grief?
Did he not swallow hook line and sinker
That I was ready to wed Count Paris
When to Romeo I had already pledg’d my troth?
Fear not, am like a falcon to a sparrow
Must act now and not wait for tomorrow
Come nurse take thou a letter to good Paris
Juliet will have her revenge or must perish!
