The Saviours of North Korea- III
(Kim Jong Oon, the Child Leader)
If books were solely judged by their covers
The easisest thing to say about Kim Jong-Oon
Would be that however much he endeavours
He’ll ne’er be anything but a grotesque buffoon.
He might have learnt to rule from Il’s lessons
As a dedicated son and grandson
But his hair style he copied from Stan Laurel’s
Dressed in the shape of a truncated barrel’s.
If grandad and dad sent dissidents to camps
And oft spilled their blood and put out their lamps
There is no record of either of them when alive
Doing the same to their own blood relatives,
But this new kid on the block was gonna show
That even his nearest and dearest weren’t immune
To his wrath and subject to the harshest blow
If they deviated and played out of tune.
Supreme leader Kim Il Sung’s only daughter
His father dear leader Kim Jong Il’s sister
Was married to political whizz kid
Jang Song Taek who became an eminence grise
When young Oon won hands down his leadership bid
By unanimous acclaim, a shoe-in, a wheeze.
Respected for his loyalty and great wisdom
The man gifted held the keys of the kingdom.
If I’m not up the task thought the young chairman
The military won’t have to look too far
To find someone acceptable who can
Without causing a disruptive internal war.
Jang Song Taek had sound and proven credentials
Had been involved in foreign negotiations
With impressive experience ministerial
And was an obvious boon to the nation.
Kim Jong Il the dear leader had taught him
To well keep his second in command in his sights
A lesson not lost on young chairman Kim
He therefore did not spend too many sleepless nights
Adding his name to the list of cancellations
When you accept to ride in the death seat
You’d be a fool not to have a premonition
That in a matter of time you’ll end up dead meat
So Uncle Taek was not taken by surprise
When he was expelled from the Workers’ Party
Called worse than a scabby dog with lice
A traitor, a counter-revolutionary
In the pay of Seoul, Tokyo and Washington
He knew it was the end, that his time had come.
But die decapitated wasn’t expected.
The relieved Oon then placed the headless body
Of his late uncle on a chair in his lobby
With his severed head on a small table
To entertain visiting foreign notables.
If only this was now the end of his woes!
His ascent to the top had made him many foes
Like Macbeth fearing Banquo’s sons would oust him
Oon was sure Kim Jong Nam his plush job would cost him
Kim Jong Il who in his youth was reckless and wild
And had with a mistress fathered a love child.
The dear leader had groomed the young Jong Nam
As his successor when his time came
But fun-seeking Nam got himself into a jam
And it was Tokyo Disneyland which was to blame.
The young heir not allowed to go in his own name
Travelled incognito and landed in Tokyo.
Immigration found that he had a false passport
And was left with no choice but to deport.
Kim Jong Il became sick with anger and shame
My son thinks that life’s a fucking game!
Somebody else would get capital punishment
But I pray the committee accepts banishment.
And that was the end of the young man’s ambition
But Oon feared it was only in hibernation.
Whether Kim Yo Jong his dearest sister
Was, or not, Lady Macbeth-like an adviser
Oon decided that the matter should be settled
He wasn’t gonna keep his frustrations bottled.
He summoned General U Tong Chuk
And after talking for two hours they took
The only possible course of action
Kim Jong Nam’s physical elimination.
The general summoned his Korean James Bond
And together they worked out a water-tight plan
Which would get rid of this turbulent man.
Henceforth the agent will be called KJB
He flew to Kuala Lumpur with VXB
In his luggage, aiming to put the quietus
On the target without any undue hiatus.
KJB found two recently arrived migrants
And invited them to be participants
In a television game show for which
They’d be paid two hundred dollars each.
The near destitute women readily agreed
Pressed by dire need and not really by greed.
KJB instructed each to daub her hand
With a cream he gave them, go behind KJN
Play guess who with him, using their hands as his mask
VXB being a notorious nerve gas.
In his next like KJN should avoid airports
Remember how at Tokyo he was caught!
There’s a universal law of the universe
That when the second runner is disbarred
Then whoever had come third at first
Wins second prize and its appropriate reward.
This is how luckless sister Kim Yo Jong
Found herself by Oon’s side in the death seat
One day threatening to flatten Washington
And next day the ground cut under her own feet.
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