The Perils of Living For Ever
Billionaire tech tycoon Bryan Johnson who has plans to live forever might be interested in what happened to his illustrious predecessor who was the first man who attempted the feat. The fact that he was Australian is, we believe, irrelevant.
He was an Aussie billionaire who possessed half the flocks of sheep of Oz. He had hired a team of the best anti-aging specialists and the two Nobelistas who shared the prize for their research in epigenetics, and they had come with what they claimed was the perfect cure against aging. Yes, the smart money is on treating aging as a sickness.
The cure consisted of renovating blood plasma with those of specially chosen youths, a diet of plant based proteins, daily intake of vitamins and chemicals, exposure to magnetic rays, sleep therapy which consisted of going to bed at noon, and only eating between sixteen hundred and eighteen hundred hours, having sex only on full moon night, and at midnight.
His team took measurements of several key parameters, and after a period of two years authoritatively pronounced that he had reversed the aging process by six whole months, which meant that he was on the right track.
He usually went to sleep the moment his head hit the pillow, but that did not stop him having short periods of wakefulness. It was on such an occasion that he began thinking of his lifeline. He had remembered reading about palmistry when he was still at school. A long lifeline indicated a long span, and a short one an early death, and he was aware of having a short one. He was much perturbed by this, and thought that science would be helpless against palmistry, and without informing the experts he took it upon himself to solve this minor little difficulty. He thought that all he needed was to sterilise the knife by heating it red.
Reader, you guessed it, the hand festered all the same, he caught tetanus and died in a week.
