Sleep No More
(Theatre of the Absurd)
Act II
The Young Man in the previous story is now 50 years older. He still does not have watch. Sadly he never made good and is now a tramp, sleeping on park benches and eating scraps from bins. He is snoring on a bench one sunny afternoon.
Enter Man 1. He seems in a hurry, and looks frustrated. He takes a few steps towards The ex-Young Man, bends down and shakes him. The latter keeps snoring and mutters incoherently and goes back to sleep.
Man 1: Sorry … eh … don’t mean to interrupt your sleep, but I really need t0_
The ex-Young Man, wakes up suddenly and acts aggressively.
The ex-Young Man: Can’t a man sleep without being troubled? What’s the matter with you?
Man 1: I’m sorry, but I need to know the time.
The ex-Young Man: That’s a good one! Do I look like someone who owns an effing watch?
Man 1: (Thinks) Probably not. Sorry.
The ex-Young Man: Piss off then and let me go back to sleep.
Man 1 leaves and the ex-Young Man takes a swig from a bottle under the bench, muttering to himself, and soon begins to snore.
Man 2 appears Stage right. He looks frustrated, takes a few steps towards the sleeping Hobo, bends down and shakes him. The latter keeps snoring and mutters incoherently and goes back to sleep.
Man 2 : Sorry … eh … don’t mean to interrupt your sleep, but I really need t0_
The ex-Young Man, wakes up suddenly and acts aggressively.
The ex-Young Man: Can’t a man sleep without being troubled? What’s the matter with you? Don’t tell me, you need to know the time.
Man 2: How did you know?
The ex-Young Man: Know what?
Man 2: That I needed to know the time.
The ex-Young Man: Did you find out? What is the time?
Man 2: That’s what I was asking you. What’s the time?
The ex-Young Man: (Screams) I don’t know the f — ing time, do I? Why don’t you piss off and let me go back to sleep?
Man 2 leaves and the ex-Young Man takes a swig from a bottle under the bench, muttering to himself, and soon begins to snore.
Man 3 appears Stage left. He looks frustrated, takes a few steps towards the sleeping man, bends down and shakes him. The latter keeps snoring and mutters incoherently and goes back to sleep.
The ex-Young Man, wakes up suddenly and acts aggressively.
The ex-Young Man: Can’t a man sleep without being troubled? What’s the matter with you? Don’t tell me, you need to know the time. You are the fifth chap to wake me up.
Man 3: Surely only the third?
The ex-Young Man: The author forgot the stage direction, “A few minutes later” after the Man 2 left.
Man 3: You can’t expect me to know that! Anyway, now that you’re awake, tell me the time.
The ex-Young Man glowers and is about to explode, but suddenly calms down.
The ex-Young Man: I need to keep calm. No point in screaming. I do not have a watch, and consequentially do not know the time. Now be a good chap, I need to catch up with my beauty sleep. Don’t know if I can go back to sleep.
Man 3: I’ll tell you what, I’ll sing you a lullaby.
Man 3 sings Ba Ba Black Sheep and the ex-Young Man goes back to sleep. Man 3 tiptoes away. Suddenly the exYoung Man wakes up. He sits up and shakes his head.
The ex-Young Man: No, no … that won’t do. The minute I reach land of Nod some idiot is gonna come and wake me up.
The ex-Young Man finds some chalk in a bundle under the bench, and a small piece of cardboard. He writes “I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME.” He looks pleased with his effort. He places the cardboard at his head, smiles, lies down and soon he is snoring.
Man 4 appears Stage Right. He sees the sleeping man and tiptoes away, but suddenly stops, walks back to the cardboard. He picks it us and reads it. Nods to himself. He looks at his watch ,meaningfully.
Man 4. Wake up, wake up …
The ex-Young Man keeps snoring, but wakes up suddenly.
The ex-Young Man: Can’t you read? I don’t have the fucking time.
Man 4: I know. (pointing at his watch) It is thirteen past four!
