Once upon a time in Paradise
This story happened many years in the future.
The man had led a saintly life on earth, had been good to everybody, had never cheated on taxes, had funded many charities. He had been a model husband, a loving father. No one had heard a single word against him. When he died, the Angel Gabriel welcomed him with open wings. We don’t need a Q&A here, you going straight to the good place, any special request? A humble man, even in death, he said, No, I’m sure this is already more than I deserve, but Gabriel insisted. In the case, can I … are you sure? Ask, it’s already accorded. Well, since you insist … can I have Saoirse Ronan as my companion. Gabriel winced, and said he’d have to consult the Big Man himself first. But in a split second he was back with a big smile. Yes, it’s accorded, and Saoirse herself appeared. I know you’re having difficulty with my name, she said, beaming a smile on him, it’s pronounced Sorcha. The good man was overwhelmed, and when Gabriel disappeared, she led him to his heavenly quarters. There, they had the most beautiful time anybody can imagine, but we need not go into details.
Then one morning the man asked to see the Angel Gabriel. What can I do for you? Is there anything wrong? Not really, the man said, but my companion isn’t who you said she was. I discovered that she is a robot-clone of Sorcha. Gabriel smiled and shook his head wearily. I’ve heard that one a million times if I’ve heard it once, the original Saoirse is God’s private property.
