More Tales from Jahilia

Make the punishment fit the crime

The Emir of Jahilia was very rigid in his view of law and order, and after a visit to Singapore, he caused the laws of the country to be redrafted. He was particularly incensed by people throwing litter all over the place, splashing graffiti on public walls or damaging property. If you do not treat the country you live in decently, he averred, then you are unpatriotic, and he suggested exile as punishment. It was very common the hear the judge pronounce judgement: You will be banished from Jahilia for a year and a day, and will only be allowed back in the country after you have reflected on your misdemeanours and promised that you will never again deface the land of your birth.

Another of his instruction to the lawmakers was to enforce the an eye for an eye doctrine. You cause a death, you hang, whatever the circumstances.

A young delinquent was caught writing a slogan on a wall, and was chased by the police. Resisting arrest, he pushed the gendarme who fell on the stone pavement, cracked his skull and died.

He was taken to court, facing the two charges: vandalism and murder. It was an open and shut case, and he was duly found guilty on both charges. A year’s exile and hanging.

His honour explained that if the accused was hanged straight away, he would escape one of his punishments. He therefore decreed that only when the prisoner felt able to promise that never again would he deface his country, could he come back from exile, when he would immediately have to walk to to the gallows.

Eid in Jahilia

In Jahilia the Shias and Sunnis got on very well and respected each other, but there was conflict between two groups, the twenty-niners and the full- thirtiers. Ramadan starts after the appearance of the moon at the end of Shabaan, and ends at the appearance of the next crescent, when Eid is celebrated. Twenty-niners claim that a lunar month is twenty-nine days long, and that whether any mortal sees the crescent moon or not, the fasting season is over and festivities can begin. The full-thirtiers, on the other hand insist that if the moon is not seen, then Ramadan should be still ongoing.

The Imam and the Emir consulted and agreed that if a devout Muslim is prepared to swear that he has seen the new moon, then his word should be accepted and Eid can be celebrated on the next day.

It was very common, on the twenty-ninth day of Ramadan, for enthusiastic moon-seekers to climb the hills of the capital, venture into the desert, or even take out their dhows beyond the breakers to chase the moon. They were often thwarted in their quest by foggy conditions, and many a time have had to return to base moonless, so to say.

One year, hundreds of people had been looking for the crescent, but only one man claimed that he had caught a fleeting glimpse of the the heavenly body in the cloudy sky. He made his way to the Palace where the Emir and the Imam were waiting.

Can you swear on the Quran that you have seen the new moon? the imam asked, and the witness said yes. The imam and the Emir consulted, and were about to announce the good news, when an elderly full-thirtier raised his hand.

How do we know that this witness is a devout follower of our prophet, peace be unto him? An important section of the audience mumbled their approval, and the two arbiters pursed their lips, and nodded dubiously.

He has a beard, a militant twenty-niner pointed out.

But it isn’t white.

The twenty-niner approached the witness, poked his beard with his index finger, produced a magnifying glass and triumphantly declared that whilst his beard was mostly black, he could detect a few grey strands.

Marhaba, a group of twenty-niners chorused.

Not so fast, their opponents tut-tutted.

But is the beard the legal length? Is it at least eight centimetres long?

Someone produced a ruler and proceeded to measure the length of the witness’ beard.

Sadly it was just millimetres short, and Eid had to wait for another day