Judgment in Jahilia

جاهيل Jahil: Ignorant

In the kingdom of Jahilia, everything is done according to its concise and strict laws.

A man was being tried for having committed three offenses: (i) Voicing a complaint in public about the cost of living (ii) Stealing a loaf, and (iii) Looking away as the king’s carriage was being acclaimed by the population.

The clerk of court read the indictments, the prosecution put forward its case, interrogating witnesses, and the defence, which had no witnesses made a plea for clemency. The jury pronounced a verdict of guilty on each charge, and the Chief Justice passed the sentence for each of the three inculpations.

For criminally complaining against the cost of living: A six-month exile so he can see for himself that other countries were worse off.

For theft, six months hard labour.

For lèse-majesté, a very serious crime worse than murder, public hanging.

A police sergeant then grabbed the condemned man, and was taking him away when the judge stopped him, asking what he was doing. The law officer explained that he was taking the fellow to the gallows, whereupon his lordship looked at him sternly, and told him in no uncertain terms that he was an idiot. And he told him why.

-“Should the man be hanged right away,” he said, “it’s a mockery of our sacred laws, for isn’t he being let off the exile and the prison sentence, right?” The silence that followed this mise-au-point was deafening.

-“The proper way we do things in Jahilia, is first exile the man, when he comes back from banishment, he is taken to jail, and only after he has served his six months will be become eligible for hanging. Right!”