Escobar and the Unicorn- a true story

Escobar king of cocaine
Escobar’s unicorn

What can be worth a billion dollars papa

Asked Pablo Escobar’s daughter Manuela

Your eyes, guapa, what do you want for your birthday?

I’ll get you anything you want, anything you say

Even a unicorn, she said, tongue-in-the cheek

Anything, even a parrot with a golden beak

But you said unicorn, so we’ll get one for you

I believe the last one is living in Peru.

He calls Jairo Velasquez alias Popeye

Orders him to get one for the apple of his eye

Jairo says, But Pablo unicorns don’t exist

I know, the drug czar said, get one made, I insist

How? Popeye asked. How many people have shot dead?

Escobar asked, more than three hundred?

Popeye nodded. How many deaths did you plan?

Popeye could only whisper, Give or take, five thousan’

And now you say you can’t deliver one unicorn?

He replied, I’ll set out tomorrow at crack of dawn

He buys a pony and finds the horn of an oryx

Now, he says , we need someone for this to fix

There are ostrich and peacock feathers galore

At Napoles, kept in the special zoo store

And orders the vet of the zoo at the hacienda

To perform the op, carry out his agenda.

To transform a pony into a unicorn

The poor scared vet wished he’d never been born

As he had witnessed Escobar’s un-reined wrath

But he took some measurements and did the math

And administering to the beast some ether

He sewed on his hide feather after feather

To form a pair of wings for the splendid beast

The unique gift for Manuela’s birthday feast

Next he drilled the bone on the pony’s forehead

And inserted the oryx horn in the prepared bed

Finishing in style like the Master of Caris

By filling the cavities with plaster of Paris

The girl was mighty pleased but the infected corny

Could not be saved from dying for love or money

Prizewinning playwright. Mathematician. Teacher. Professional Siesta addict.