Escobar and the Unicorn- a true story
What can be worth a billion dollars papa
Asked Pablo Escobar’s daughter Manuela
Your eyes, guapa, what do you want for your birthday?
I’ll get you anything you want, anything you say
Even a unicorn, she said, tongue-in-the cheek
Anything, even a parrot with a golden beak
But you said unicorn, so we’ll get one for you
I believe the last one is living in Peru.
He calls Jairo Velasquez alias Popeye
Orders him to get one for the apple of his eye
Jairo says, But Pablo unicorns don’t exist
I know, the drug czar said, get one made, I insist
How? Popeye asked. How many people have shot dead?
Escobar asked, more than three hundred?
Popeye nodded. How many deaths did you plan?
Popeye could only whisper, Give or take, five thousan’
And now you say you can’t deliver one unicorn?
He replied, I’ll set out tomorrow at crack of dawn
He buys a pony and finds the horn of an oryx
Now, he says , we need someone for this to fix
There are ostrich and peacock feathers galore
At Napoles, kept in the special zoo store
And orders the vet of the zoo at the hacienda
To perform the op, carry out his agenda.
To transform a pony into a unicorn
The poor scared vet wished he’d never been born
As he had witnessed Escobar’s un-reined wrath
But he took some measurements and did the math
And administering to the beast some ether
He sewed on his hide feather after feather
To form a pair of wings for the splendid beast
The unique gift for Manuela’s birthday feast
Next he drilled the bone on the pony’s forehead
And inserted the oryx horn in the prepared bed
Finishing in style like the Master of Caris
By filling the cavities with plaster of Paris
The girl was mighty pleased but the infected corny
Could not be saved from dying for love or money
