Toes by Damir Spanic (Unsplash)

Sex is not the only source of sensual pleasure

Many areas give a comparable measure

Of feel-good feelings, if not quite the paroxysm

Of a full-blown mind-boggling sexual orgasm.

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Your nose tickles, is the fish nibbling or biting?

If nibbling is nothing, biting is exciting

Ah … Ah …Ah … please dear God please… Ah, ah .. Ahtschoom

Your gloom sinks like a rock and your spirits just zoom

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Urinating and excreting are pleasurable

Activities, and painful when you’re not able

A rock hard turd is the only thing on this earth

That is a man’s closest experience to childbirth

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The itch is a bitch. It needs a wider canvas

And cannot be described in less than two stanzas

All itches are equal but some more than others

An itch needs scratching when it its victim bothers

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An itch between your toes is worth two in the bush

And about one and a half a dozen in your tush

But none is as sweet and luscious, we all know

As the itch between the long toe and the big toe

Prizewinning playwright. Mathematician. Teacher. Professional Siesta addict.