A Conspiracy (Part deuX)
Room in Kremlin Palace.
Vladimir Putin is playing chess with an adviser from the FSB.
Adviser: Mr President, since you ask, we at the FSB are disappointed that you went against our eXpress wishes and allowed AleXei Anatolievitch to go to Germany for treatment. Now see what happened. Those fascists in Berlin are talking of novichok poisoning … it’s going to cause untold damage to the image of the new Russia _
Putin makes a move, smiles in triumph and shakes his head.
Putin: Mat, Vassili Vissianorovich! Checkmate.
CUT TO a Russia Today show. Putin is being interviewed by AleX Salmond.
Salmond: Mr President, you have often said that in Russia the law courts are free fair and independent, that lawbreakers are investigated and then it’s the judge’s call. You’ve also said that you don’t really have personal enemies. You’ve always maintained that the FSB does not play dirty that and that in any case you have given them strict orders, that novichok and polonium are not part of your armoury.
Putin: AleXei Andrei Eliotovitch, Russia is now a democracy, as the world well knows.
Salmond: (puZZled) You’re not suggesting the Germans are lying?
Putin: Not at all. Can you not see what happened? Navalny is an irritation to many oligarchs _ I have no influence over them, you see. I’m of course going to demand a full enquiry into this. Like you, I know that there are people who deal with their personal enemies by illegal means; that’s because our judiciary is so meticulous and insist on clear proofs of guilt. They get a contract on the poor fellow. I have nothing to do with this. Obviously all eXtra-judicial killings are thoroughly investigated_
Salmond: I’ve never heard of any big oligarch being sent to trial for a contract killing.
Putin: As I said, our courts demand watertight evidence and proof, and this can take years.
AleX Salmond laughs.
Putin: Tell me AleXei Andrei Eliotovitch… do you think I am a stupid man?
Salmond: Ha! Ha! No Mr President, not one person in the world thinks that.
Putin: Isn’t the fact that I allowed Navalny to go to Berlin proof that I was in complete ignorance of what happened?
