Was Ilse Koch the most evil woman who ever lived? Countess Elizabeth Bathory is said to have killed hundreds of women, but she had a mad agenda: Bathe in their blood for eternal youth. Ilse Koch’s only motivation was to watch the suffering of others. She gave the orders to kill the inmates of Buchenwald and felt like a queen to have the power of life and death over people. She killed because she loved killing.
Sex is not the only source of sensual pleasure
Many areas give a comparable measure
Of feel-good feelings, if not quite the paroxysm
Of a full-blown mind-boggling sexual orgasm.
Your nose tickles, is the fish nibbling or biting?
If nibbling is nothing, biting is exciting
Ah … Ah …Ah … please dear God please… Ah, ah .. Ahtschoom
Your gloom sinks like a rock and your spirits just zoom
Urinating and excreting are pleasurable
Activities, and painful when you’re not able
A rock hard turd is the only thing on this earth
That is a man’s closest experience…
The prize money may not be the biggest, but the yearly Wimbledon tennis tournament is considered by the cognoscenti to be the most prestigious in the world. Billions of words have been written about strawberries and cream or Henman Hill, but few have commented on the quirks and rituals of the game, many being quite risible.
The scoring system: They count in multiples of 15, except when they don’t. The first point is worth a 15–0, called fifteen love. Who is the cynic who decided that love was worth nothing? The second point is either 30–0 or 15–15. The latter…
They say of Putin Vladimir Vladimirovitch
That he is the most powerful man on the planet
That he is in the whole world the man who is most rich
With between eighty and two hundred billion net
When the iron curtain crumpled into dust
And the Soviet Union disintegrated
The whole world prayed and waited for the gust
Of fresh air to cool tempers as choler abated
There was high hope of a massive peace dividend
That canons would melt away into ploughshares
That starvation and poverty on earth would end
That serenity would emerge from the nightmares
Scheming politicians_ are there other types?
Have always known that nothing unites
People as readily as a common enemy
To the Shias Satan is a Sunni
Hitler used the Jews Paisley pointed at Papists
The Chinese blame Dalai Lama and the Buddhists.
In India the age-old Hindu Muslim divide
Has triggered many a deadly fratricide.
This woeful practice can be said to’ve taken shape
When the Shah Jehan was followed by Aurangzeb
Who specialised in destroying Hindu temples
And did not hesitate on their rights to trample
Introducing a forcible conversion program
We burn your village unless you convert to…
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson
May his wisdom increase and his girth decrease
Was born his mother’s and his father’s son
With characteristics, some hers and others his.
Neither could claim monsterhood or ogreship
If the boy had ambition in that direction
He’d better learn how to steer his own ship
And not wreck it on the rocks of salvation.
He taught himself to tell lies at a young age
To stick his snot on doors walls and windows
To spit in father Stanley’s beverage
And piss on mummy’s broad beans and marrows
But aged ten he was no more…
It took two millennia for Nero
To go from zero to hero
The simple truth is that history
Is writ by whoever won victory
Vespasian drove Nero to suicide
That, historians have not denied
So he painted him in a bad light
Making Romans think he was all right
When Rome burnt Nero was out of town
So he could not have been around
Therefore not guilty of the fiddling
Charge that his enemies have been peddling
When the fire finally died out
There was much misery about
And Nero’s efforts were tireless
To comfort and rehouse…
Now that Nero has been rehabilitated, we need a new name to head the league table of villains. I propose Fulgencio Batista president of Cuba before Castro ousted him.It would be interesting for others to nominate their candidate.
The obvious ones, Hitler, Pol Pot, Donald Trump, Genghis Khan, King Leopold of Belgium etc, whatever their crimes, had an agenda, often a warped one, purporting to benefit their country, albeit at the expense of others, and millions of lives. Fulgencio had no such agenda. Cuba was there for him to exploit, to sell to the American mafia, to enrich himself, fuck…
Prizewinning playwright. Mathematician. Teacher. Professional Siesta addict.